Name: Louise

13 April 1992

You can only call me Lulu if you don’t think the name’s funny.

I am a member of the Smiley Conspiracy and a proud ex-CHS-ian, graduating class of 2009. Now doing A-Levels at HELP University College. Is proudly Malaysian, but doesn’t look like it and is proud of that too.

This is the 7th time I am editing this about section of the blog this year; I have sort of accepted that my personality is ever-evolving, ever-changing, therefore rendering my moods as volatile as the weather. But just as there are some things that have stood untouched across the centuries by harsh weather, so there are some things with me that remain ever the same: a belief that to live is to learn, and the ability to bounce back from setbacks.

What I love also remains constant. I love good food, dancing, fresh experiences, open minds and friendly people, all of which can be found in the wonderful wonderful city that is Istanbul. I love musicals, plays, good books, stickers, owls, colourful wrapping paper, hugs and kisses, chocolates, almost any music from the 17th to the 21st century, intense debates and post-it notes.

Fictional characters I have been compared to (in terms of personality) are Piglet from Winnie The Pooh and Kelsi from High School Musical.

I dream of finishing this list [29/8/2010: list is undergoing revamp!], and my secret ambition is to become a hairdresser or bartender. Unfortunately I’m also incredibly kiasu, so I’m going to go to university just to show everyone that I can. But want to go to uni also because I love learning lah!

Words that describe me are impulsive, impetuous, quixotic, sanguine, quirky, bewildered, kiasu and hodgepodge. The last one also refers to my sense of fashion.

*GRINS* :D

I am pissed off.

You know that saying, “I’m happy even though my life isn’t perfect; I’ve just decided to look past all the imperfections”? That’s me. My life is full of flaws and it is far from perfect. I’m highly doubt there are any people who know me who would want to live my life. But so many things have happened lately: ICRC is over. Exams are over. I’m on holiday. I went shopping :D I had fun with the SASA-rians at the Fete De La Musique. I had fun with the debaters at ICRC and while I was watching movies with them. I created an awesome dessert from scratch and on my first try at making it. I didn’t get any scholarships that can potentially mess up my life lol. My temporary laptop’s been given back to my mom, which means that a proper laptop of my own is probably on the way. MY PHONE IS BACK (in case I haven’t told you yet)!!! On the whole, I feel more relaxed and happy than I have been all year long. Because I’ve chosen to not worry about my exam results, university applications and what not. Every other worry of mine has been wiped out and resolved. I have awesome friends. I have an awesome family. I feel like nothing can go wrong, and if it does, it won’t remain so for long.

The joys outweigh the tears right now by far right now. I can see it.

But I can’t feel it.

All because of one small imperfection which, try as I might, I cannot seem to be able to look past. Normally I’d deal with this kind of imperfection by distracting myself but distractions aren’t working. And this imperfection is preventing me from appreciating the extent of just how wonderful it is for me to be alive right here, right now.

In short, I am pissed off – because I continually allow myself to dwell and moan on this imperfection, because I cannot find in myself the belief that I am strong enough to ignore this imperfection; to accept that this is the situation, and I can do nothing to change it. It pisses me off because it’s such a small, shallow, superficial thing to hold my attention. And because of it, I am rendered completely incapable of being happy, although by every other right I should be.
Being a reject sucks balls.
Somebody needs to slap some sense into me.

And now for something completely different.

:D

Labels: Gloom And Doom, Musings, Personal, Random-ia