I feel a lot happier and less stressed out than I have been all month. And I can’t tell you why, because I’m not even sure what’s making me so happy.
Oh well. Who ever said we needed a reason to be happy?
DFTBA! :)
I need to be a lot more realistic about the person I am. There are some things you just can’t be, no matter how hard you try. A less shallow and insecure person is probably one of them.
Remember how at the beginning of this year I was agonizing about choosing between Econs and Physics?
Tomorrow I will find out if the choice I made was the right one.
On another note, anyone coming with me to this?
Labels: Gloom And Doom, Musings, Personal
What happened was I was trying to study Econs last night. And then the outhouse for my residential area crashed. I then spent a more than proportional amount of time running around lighting candles to light up my study area. Once I was completely satisfied that the desk was well-lit, I couldn’t study because it was so hot. -________-
I unintentionally woke up at 6.30am because it was so hot. It was at that point that I discovered that one phase of electricity had been restored to my house, resulting in the very queer occurrence of only half my house having electricity. Therefore in the kitchen the fridge works but the toaster doesn’t. WTF.
Fortunately the study (where the computers and modem are :D) is part of the house that has electricity, so I can come back here and finish typing that blog post that I thought I would come and finish post-Econs.
***
When it happened on Monday, I told everyone around me who cared to listen. It was as if by telling everyone I could somehow lessen the burden of the mistake. And it kinda worked :D
But in case I haven’t told you myself yet: I missed out one entire question on my C1 Math exam paper. I DID read the instructions in front before I started the paper! And I still inexplicably forgot when I got to question 10.
I dropped my phone down the toilet on the day of the Chemistry exam, and now for C1 something else goes down the drain too – 8 marks. Is it me or am I having an exceptionally poor run of luck this round of exams? It makes me wonder what will happen on Friday come the Econs exam!!!
I am sounding more pessimistic than I really feel. It isn’t THAT bad lah :D I’m just doing it for effects. Really, I like sharing everything about me: what makes me happy as well as what makes me upset.
So to make up for the thunderclouds that have been hanging over this blog for the last few days, here are genuine (though unhelpfully unoriginal) wishes of love, laughter and life from me.
“Oh, it’s delightful to have ambitions. I’m so glad I have such a lot. And there never seems to be any end to them— that’s the best of it. Just as soon as you attain to one ambition you see another one glittering higher up still. It does make life so interesting.”
- L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
“Why is it easier to affirm “something’s wrong” than to say “everything’s great?” Isn’t it strange for us to say, “I’m lazy. I’m fat. I’m no good,” thereby creating our life experience to be one that is late, tired, and worthless. Leave it to our egos to keep us in that small game and hold us back. If you haven’t started yet, I invite you take on affirmations that brighten your day. Create a bigger life for yourself simple by saying things like, “I am tireless, perfect being. I have access to everything and I am complete.”
- Jason Mraz
And on that note,
:)
*Crap the electricity just got cut off for the whole house again. Why oh why did I spend so much time on boredpanda.com??*
Labels: day-to-day, Personal
Two days on and the memory of how I lost my phone still traumatizes me. I don’t want to think about it! But just so you know, I’m still phone-less. The funny thing is that it’s not the contact with the outside world that I’m craving; it’s the music that I could carry around with me and play whenever I’m waiting.
I have a free moment. There are so many things I want to say. I want to tell you how two separate but related events are screwing up my life so badly that it’s difficult to focus on what really matters; but I also want to keep things to myself and hope that they’ll work out fine. I want to tell you how I think I might just survive this round of A-Levels. I want to tell you how scared I am that I am only just surviving, and knowing that this is only the first term. I want to tell you how excited I am about the time after this round of exams; I have got so many things planned out. But I’m also so worried that I won’t be able to cope with the workload. I want to tell you how I think I’m biting off more than I can chew. And yet, I still feel like I am procrastinating.
I want to tell you that I like reading PostSecret. More than I like finding secrets I can relate to, I like reading each of them and imagining the writer’s story. Some secrets are dark and dirty and downright disgusting; but some are so sweet. Here’s one of my favourite PostSecrets.
It makes me wonder who wrote the note. And I wonder if the writer ever realized what a profound impact his little random scribbling had on the life of two other individuals.
And there are so, so many PostSecrets I love and want to share! But my C1 papers are calling me once again, to remind me that they shouldn’t be taken lightly just because they’re C1.
Sometimes I wonder why I am so kiasu, and what good it’s going to do me.
Here’s just one more PostSecret.
Labels: Musings
HI.
I DROPPED MY PHONE DOWN THE TOILET BOWL.
IT WAS MY SPARE PHONE.
WTF.
FML FML FML FML FML FML.
The exams that we sit for are stupid. Not only do they make us regurgitate whatever we learn – especially the science exams – but they also make us regurgitate it in a very fixed manner. But even more stupid than the science exams are the English SPM exams, and I truly resented how stupid the marking scheme for that particular exam ran. The examiners look for essays from model essay books and don’t appreciate creative takes on essay topics.
Like how once the topic was to write about an incident where a moment of forgetfulness got you into trouble. I composed a piece on how a burglar broke into his ex-boss’s house, robbed it and left a note making fun of his ex-boss, but got caught because he absent-mindedly signed his name at the end of the note. It was GOOD, and I had so much fun writing it!
But someone else scored higher than me on that particular essay. She didn’t write particularly well, and I swear I’m not being bitter here! She wrote about how she forgot about an exam – which is such a predictable take on the topic (and an ironic one, considering the title of this post. It shows you just how seriously we take exams.). And yet the teacher gave her a higher score… Because she inserted more idioms and difficult words into her essay than I did.
Sheesh.
But it is precisely the stupidity of the exam system that makes me secretly like them so much. It’s easy to get the better of them if you study right. Besides this is the time of the year where you have no classes and homework at all and you can use it as an excuse to skip out on anything. Like driving lessons, piano practice and chores. :D
(The fact that I don’t always score well in exams just proves how lazy I am)
On the downside, however, it makes our sleeping and eating habits go out of whack. All of us sleep less. Some of us eat more, some of us eat less. Unfortunately I’m from the group of people who become unexplainably peckish in the days leading up to the exams. Since Monday I’ve polished off two jars of potato crisps, two bars of chocolate, a Big Gulp of 7Up and I’ve moved on to Oreos DoubleStuff and chocolate wafers. I HAVE GAINED NOTICEABLE WEIGHT AND I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT IT GRRR.
On the upside, I am now eligible for blood donation. :D
None of the cons quite excuses me from being here when I have a Chemistry exam on Friday, two letters of sponsorship to finish up, tickets to book, the SAT to study for and lots of research to do. Sigh. Why do I like reminding myself? :(
Hands up, all you people sitting for A-Levels/midterms. And if you’re here, why don’t you tell me all the things you’ve been up to besides studying? The chatbox is yours.
Labels: Random-ia
Josh Turner – Why Don’t We Just Dance
The Global Law Of Exams
The Law of Exams states that the concentration of exams is directly proportional to the concentration of distractions available on the entertainment front such as books, videos, games, events, TV shows and movies. i.e. when there are no exams there will be hardly any distractions of the sort. And when exam season hits, distractions proliferate. This law is applicable universally to all sorts of exams.
Almost one year on, the video of the cast of Glee performing Don’t Stop Believing still cheers me up every single time I watch it.
I just realized that I really, really, really like lemons. Though I can’t eat lemons just like that. Nobody in their right mind could. But I love how a little bit of lemon juice, added to most things, can make such a big difference. Think about sprinkling lemon juice on your fish and chips, or the slice of lemon in a mocktail. Even a little bit of lemon juice and thin shreds of lemon skin added to plain water can make it a refreshing drink. No sugar needed. Lemons may be sour but the sourness is refreshingly tangy. I like pineapples too for the same reason but they’re nowhere as zesty as lemons.
So how can I ever be upset if life gives me lemons?
I’ve given you one of my favourite songs, and one of my favourite pictures. Now I’m going to share one of my favourite videos.
The man in the short film is so cheerful, it’s inspiring. :)
I have got a lot on my mind regarding university applications. I know exactly what I want to apply for and where I want to do it. But I am also determined to do a gap year, and I’m not sure if I should apply to university this year or wait till next year. Anyone want to offer me advice on this? :/
PS: One thing about not putting my thoughts in point form is that it makes the post look a lot less hodgepodge than it really is.
21 Point Plan To Win Elections.
1. Always try and read the opposing political person's mind. Never wait until the other person (or country) explains itself.If that fails, try the Ouija board.
2. Judge before you are judged.
3. Never give the other side the benefit of the doubt.
4. Always jump to conclusions.
5. Never seek any outside assistance.
6. What you say is what you mean, even if that isn't so.
7. Change your mind randomly and without notice.
8. Always treat the other side like they were mentally deficient if not criminally insane.
9. Impute evil intentions to every act of the other.
10. When all else fails, do not respond at all.
11. There are two possible meanings to everything, if in doubt, explain that they took it the wrong way.
12. Launch a public relations campaign disputing your opponent.
13. Predict dire economic consequences, and ignore the cost benefits.
14. Find and pay a respected scientists to argue persuasively against incumbent government environmental policies.
15. Use non-peer reviewed scientific publications or industry-funded scientists who don't publish original peer-reviewed scientific work to support your point of view on matters of public health and environment.
16. Trumpet discredited scientific studies and myths supporting your points of view as scientific fact.
17. Point to the substantial scientific uncertainty, and the certainty of economic loss if immediate action is taken with respect to problems.
18. Use data from a local area to support your views, and ignore the global evidence.
19. Disparage scientists, saying they are playing up uncertain predictions of doom in order to get research funding when encountering global warming issues.
20. Complain that it is unfair to require regulatory action in Britain, as it would put the nation at an economic disadvantage.
21. Claim that more research is needed before action should be taken on things to do with public Health and Safety.
From loonyparty.com :)
Labels: Random-ia
I have an announcement to make.
Today, for the first time since I began blogging in 2007, I removed all the blog counters from my blog, and I deleted my Nuffnang account. It’s not just the fact that they’re pointless – that anyone can refresh the page and make it look like there were two visits instead of one. It’s also the fact that they put pressure on me to blog. The OMG blog stats dropping better make up for it feeling.
However the truth is it’s been getting hard to write anything that feels truly sincere, something that isn’t written in the hope that somebody will see it and, more importantly, be impressed. And you know what happens when you try too hard: it usually falls flat.
I have always loved writing, and after years of doing it I think blogging is one of the forms of prose that are most difficult to create. This is why I ardently follow wordy blogs and I take time to read them, even though they lack pictures. I truly admire people who can blog well. I’m not just talking about pinkpau; there are plenty of people I know personally whose blogs I think are awesome, and I follow them on a daily basis. Seeing that they’ve updated their blogs can make my day! One day if I have the guts, I’ll tell you who they are. :) But I digress – let’s get back to the topic of blogging and what makes it so hard.
Essentially every post is a little bit about myself, flaws and all. Even a simple post about a day out can reveal important facets of myself, primarily the way I see the world. And God knows it can be so hard to be completely honest. I don’t mean that I misconstrue the facts; I’m talking about the way I express and purvey those facts. We’ve all tried putting on different personas to make ourselves seem like marginally more interesting people. I can fake my way through school essays, news articles and other pieces of the written word. But to me, blogging requires as much care as writing a personal statement. Okay, maybe not AS much! But like a personal statement, blogging requires me to talk freely about myself, to express myself in a manner that’s simultaneously interesting, coherent and reflects the person I am, because it’s about me. And I strongly believe that writing styles reflect the writer’s maturity. Putting blog counters just increases the pressure to write something well, and that of course has an inverse effect on the quality of the writing.
I don’t know if you get what I’m trying to say, but it seems wrong to hinge so much importance on something that should inherently be me, because that’s immature and therefore contradictory. In real life, I don’t think through every action twenty times before I perform it, and I don’t (always) do things for the sake of attention; and I believe the same should apply to blogging.
From now on, I’m going to write for me. I don’t give two hoots about how many hits a day I get anymore. There won’t be any more why aren’t my stats going up? ): nonsense. And if you really like/dislike something, you can tell me yourself in the chatbox! (I’m keeping the cbox because this blog template doesn’t allow comments; and I do like to be told in words that I did something well. *TAKE A HINT, READERS!*)
Okay, so you saw the word “announcement” up there and what I’ve written here is very potong steam. But this is important to me. I tentatively remind you – I don’t like to do this; who likes reminding people of their own flaws? – that there are some days when I overreact to the things people say or do around me. There are some days when I forget to not let myself be defined by things around me: appearances, acquaintances, scholarships or blog stats. There are just some days I forget to live unbuttoned.
This is just another way I’m reminding myself to remember.
This blog post was refreshingly honest. I have not felt this good about blogging in a very long time! :D
On a completely unrelated note, congratulations to Chelsea for winning the Premier League! :) I’m a Liverpool supporter but I can still concede that we’re losing out and they deserve the win. Anything but Man United.
Labels: Musings
Because no matter how hard you work, someone must come in last. Because life isn’t always going to reward you in proportion to the effort you put in. Because we know that you put in your 110% even though you came in last, and that’s much better than not giving it your best shot, coming in last and having regrets. Because it was always supposed to be more about the fun you and your teammates had working together than the actual results. Because nothing ever goes to waste. Because you know that the judges are screwed up the judge’s decision in this case is not infallible and therefore is not to be taken as a measure of how well you actually performed. I mean, we’ve all seen and experienced the close-minded way in which they evaluate our chef d'oeuvres. Not enough recycled materials wtf.
Because someone out there knows you are capable of handling all this, and more. And you know that, from now on, you’re going to be a little harder, better, faster and stronger.
I don’t claim to know what you’ve gone through. Do we ever really know what someone else goes through? I just really wanted to make you feel better. And this is what I would have needed to hear, if it had been me.
Chin up, smile.
P/S: Oh! And because when all else fails, there’s nothing a pint of cookies and cream ice-cream can’t solve. :)
that the last two weeks of my life will not repeat themselves.
Doing poorly at Lit was depressing. Overcoming complacency is a long and hard lesson to learn, and I’ve only just taken the first step. But of course the harder the lesson, the more worth learning it is.
That’s what I tell myself anyway!
:/
On another note, TOMORROW IS CHS SPORTS DAY!
I went back today to see the deco and marching. I saw what every single one of the houses got up to. And I swear everyone is going hardcore. Practicing marching up till 9pm, out on the padang in the dark. Every year they try to outdo each other and the previous years in terms of creativity and dedication.
Sports day was my favorite part of high school for many reasons. CHS is as conformist a school as any other is Malaysia. But Sports Day is the one time everyone makes an obvious, sincere attempt to break out of the mould. Sports Day is a huge event in CHS. They think out of the box to come up with cool marching formations and impressive deco effects. They go as far as staying overnight in school and missing out on sleep just to finish the tents! During this time the teachers only have authorizing power, but even that seems like it’s given a little more freely than at any other time of the year.
I remember there was one year the admins considered revoking the right to stay overnight in school. For the first time ever, everyone was incredibly vocal about this. There was such consternation about missing 7 hours of working time that the Scouts decided that they would boycott Sports Day if the students weren’t allowed to stay overnight in school. And everyone knows that without the Scouts (to tie up the bamboo structures and all), Sports Day cannot go on. I don’t know if they ever had to take it that far, to blackmail the admins, but I’m glad that they actually considered doing that instead of taking it lying down and opening up hate groups on Facebook. *COUGH*
I just realized how typically Chinese that situation sounds. –.- we are workaholics. But I’m proud because that was one time we were actually serious about standing up to the admins!
My question is why this only happens during Sports Day season!! But I suppose once a year is better than not at all.
If there are any Form 5s reading this, enjoy tomorrow. It’s your last Sports Day ever. Make it a good one! Special wishes to those from Rumah Kuning. (; An ex-senior sends her love.
Autobots, roll out!
Labels: High School, Musings
I did what I could. I had every right to be pissed off and still, I tried to remain optimistic. I tried to forgive. I tried to reason with myself that people feel insecure and that is that makes them act with such arrogance. I told myself that people like that are to be pitied, and that I’m lucky I don’t run into people like that on a daily basis. I rationalized that anyone involved in debating would want to sound like they know their stuff.
And after all that hard work and goodwill, somebody crosses the line again. And I swear, I have not felt such intense dislike for anybody in my life.
Why, oh why do people try other people’s patience like this? ): Now I’m going to have to take a hard line against inferiority complexes and insecurities. Because after today, I realized that they certainly are no excuse for dissing people to their faces.
The most awful thing is that I’ll probably think of a really witty comeback to this next week. Right now, all I can do is simmer close to boiling point. And a fat lot of help that’s going to do!
I am not happy.
Labels: Quickies
It irks me how much people can talk when they want to sound smart. This is what debaters do but I am not talking about debaters right now. It annoys me how people with such huge inferiority complexes can have such humungous egos. And it amazing how two-faced some of these people can be.
It also saddening that people whom I once thought were nice could turn out to be so jackass-like and dislikeable. It makes me wonder if they changed, or if this was just a part of them I didn’t see before.
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
If only!
It has been a very, very long time since I got this pissed off with anyone. But on the bright side, I suppose it’s a sign of a blessing: it’s a reminder that I don’t meet these kind of people that often. And going deeper into that point, it shows how nice the rest of the people in my life have been to me.
So if you know me, and you haven’t trash-talked anyone (whether to their face or not), if you know to keep your mouth shut when you should have, if you have brightened up my day just by being there and if you love me – thank you. :] How do I ever thank you properly enough?
I feel better already! At least some sliver of goodness came out of this angsty episode. Thank God for my inner optimist.
And with that I wish you A VERY
HAPPY MAY! :D
Imma start the new month on the happiest note possible.Labels: day-to-day, Musings, Random-ia
