I think today being the final day of high school merits a long sentimental post. Besides tomorrow’s gonna be a picture post day (:
I spent the last full day of high school mostly with the Ed Boarders, distributing the school magazine. We had a wheezingly good time playing mafia. So many things are going to be associated with Ed Board now – the chicken song, mafia, and yellow, just to name a few. (: There were wild paper wars, the kind that would have made Pn. Lee faint with horror at the kind of thing we were doing to the Bilik Gerakan.
It was only as I was leaving the school that it kind of hit me: it IS the last day. Tomorrow we graduate.
I’m supposed to have learnt loads by now. Allow me to think that I have, in more ways than one.
I’m reading my old diaries. I started keeping a diary when I got to secondary school. My entry about my first day of secondary school is disappointingly short. All I remember was noting that “the teachers here love repeating themselves”. Which, eh, is still kind of true. But I didn’t say anything else. Back then, I had no idea how important the next few years would be.
I didn’t achieve everything I wanted to do in high school. But I know what I want, and God’s plan for me are two very different things. I didn’t get to do some things like… taking part in CHS Idol. Or become an overachiever. I never got the chance to represent the school for anything.
And there are some parts of high school I cannot wait to leave behind. The uniforms, for one thing. (Doh) The rule-enclosed environment is another. It suppresses creativity and freedom of expression. And then, no offense to my Chinese-speaking friends, I cannot wait to jump out of this Cina-fied place!
I DID get good grades though. The kind that makes you want to puff up with pride. In my trials too! (: I DID get to work on the school mag, class page and class T-shirt. (And I did it well, if I may say so.) I DID run for my rumah, and got a medal for it besides. I DID help my house win the championship once. I DID run the cross country, and I came out in the top 10 besides (yay!). I did get caught by the discipline teachers, I did kena spotcheck.
And I DID say hi to the gardener before! (HAHA Sharon!)
I also did fall in love. I fell out of love too. Fortunately I did so with a great guy. Eh, Popiah? (x
I don’t think I managed to learn everything my teachers have tried to bash into my head. Maybe I’ve learnt a fair amount of it, if my grades are anything to go by. But I learnt tons of other things besides.
I’ve learnt not to judge. I’ve learnt to be calm. I’ve learnt not to be hasty. I learnt that – here go the Sports Day lessons again! – that there’s a difference between competitiveness and sportsmanship. The former is thrilling, but the latter is rewarding.
I’ve learnt to care less about what people think, because the people that care don’t matter, and the people who matter don’t care.
I’ve learnt to get a job done and done well. I’ve learnt not to lose my cool in front of the seniors and the rest of your team mates. I’ve learnt that it pays to be nice to your subordinates… and everyone else lah. Haha.
I’ve learnt that happiness is created, and I’ve lived by that. I’ve learnt that mistakes are to be owned up to. And I’m still learning! I’m learning to question. I’m learning that nothing in the world is definite. I’m learning how to be a leader.
If I had the chance to start high school again, some things I would like to change. Erase all of Form 2, for a start. And I certainly wouldn’t join the LPS. Blehhh.
And yet I know that all the hurt and pain I went through in these 5 years was also accompanied by lots of rainbows, sunshine and lollipops (: And all of it has changed me for the BETTER. I know this, because there’s one thing I managed to do in my 5 years of high school that I’m very glad of:
I inspired someone. (:
(I hope she was being truthful. And I’m hoping there’s more than one person I inspired. But really, I’m already very pleased.)
Therefore I feel that today, at the end of 5 years of high school, I can stand up and proudly say this:
I really, really am. (:
So maybe, I think I better not change anything. My high school life was perfect… for ME.
I don’t think I’ll be crying at tomorrow’s graduation. More likely I’ll be laughing and drawing on my shoes and making fun of the teachers with Sheng Hoay or whoever is (un)lucky enough to be near me. But not to say there isn’t anything I’m gonna be sad about.
I’m going to be sad because I’m leaving people behind. Most of them are people I’ve gotten to know, or gotten to know better, in the last 2 years. I’ve met so many people who make me laugh, or smile. People who are so nice that you’re terrified of hurting them; people who do things that make your heart swell up; people with a moral compass so strong it’s worth admiring; people who LOVE life and love trying out new things; people who have such a unique, refreshing way of thinking that you can’t help but be fascinated to bits by them.
What saddens me the most about the end of high school is the possibility that I might not be able to meet these kind of people ever again. The thought is rather daunting, but there’s nothing I can do but remember them well because they are the ones who inspire me.
To my fellow form 5s who walked with me these 5 years,
Thank you. To those people who actually stopped to help me up when I stumbled, THANK YOU. And to those who quietly inspired me, and to those who opened my mind, and to those who have made me ME,
Thank you. (:
Don’t be sad because high school is ending. I bet in college we’ll be having so much fun that we’ll forget all our promises to keep in touch… Except with those who really matter. You can’t keep looking to the past anyway. What we can do is focus everything we’ve got on the present. We can treasure what we have, what we’ve had, and what’s about to come.
I bet we rocked socks all the way! ;D
To all those who’re just starting high school,
Treasure the next five years. Study harder, laugh louder, hug tighter, and don’t hold back on your emotions. Take a chance, take a risk. Hurt and be hurt. Learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Fall in love, and fall out of love. May you jump as high as you can, and may you fall flat on your face too. And then may you get up and jump higher still. May you lose yourself, then find yourself. I hope you enjoy life before you know who you’re going to be, and then figure out who you’re going to be and enjoy that too. Learn to be you, no matter what people think. Figure out that the cool kids aren’t always the ones worth knowing. Find your niche, but don’t be disappointed if you’re too unique for that. Find a dream, live for it. Hope to inspire someone. Actually do it. Make a difference. Smile lots.
Don’t have regrets.
To the rest of the world,
LOOK OUT! HERE WE COME!
With love from a student who’s just finished high school.
“& it’s only because I can’t wait for the rest of my life!”
- Celine Dion
PS: Aaaand now that all the emotional stuff is over, on to the next most pressing matter:
SPM!!!!!!!!!!!
