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Saturday, January 30, 2010

bowandarrow_karishma

First I typed a long post about college, then I deleted that. Then I typed something about dinosaurs and cookies, then I deleted that. Following that, I typed another long post about something that would have gotten me shot by at least three people including the pope, then decided that I wanted to live and deleted that too.

Left with nothing to blog about, I turn to my reserve blogging tool: MLIA.

Today in my AP World History class my teacher mentioned Queen Victoria. "She is the second biggest bitch in all of history," he said. A classmate asked, "Who's the first?" His response, "My first wife." MLIA

A while back my boyfriend borrowed my lunch-box to take his lunch to work. He is 25 and a staff sergeant in the Army. My lunch-box is a metal Hello Kitty box. He took it, kept it on his desk and showed it off to everyone. He had so much fun he asked me if he could take it in again the next day. MLIA.

Yesterday, I read an MLIA about a girl who has nightmares that she gets erections in front of her entire class. Babe, I don't know much, but I think were destined for each other, because I'm a 16 year old boy with recurring dreams of having a period stain on the back of my pants as I walk through the cafeteria. If only I knew how to tell you of our similarity. MLIA

Today, i took a pregnancy test, it came back positive. I'm a 20 year old male. MLIA

Today, it snowed in Houston, Texas. Our teacher was lecturing us about how we couldn't go outside when another teacher suddenly ran into the room and threw a snowball at her. She searched for the snowball, and when she found it she grabbed it, grinned, said, "Class dismissed," and ran out to seek revenge. MLIA

Today I was reading letters to Santa that were posted in our newspaper from little kids in my town. Most kids started off their letters with Dear Santa, however one kid started it off with, "Santa my man, how ya doing?" Then at the end of the letter where all the other children put their name and town, he put his name followed by, "YOU KNOW WHERE!" I have high hopes for this child. MLIA

Today, I typed "Google is" into yahoo. It gave me "Google is better than Yahoo." At least they admit to it. MLIA

Tonight I went downstairs to get a spoonful of cookie dough for a late-night snack. My mom was in the other room watching a movie and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was popping pills because I was addicted and taking steroids. She took this as a perfectly acceptable answer. Her response: "Well, whatever helps right?" I love my mom. MLIA

The other day, my mom called my brother a Son of a Bitch. MLIA

Oh hell, why don’t you all go read MLIA yourselves? If I haven’t already successfully converted you. *grins*

…AND I FORGET MY WORDS.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010

growingup_karishma

I know you’re having a lot of fun, and it really sucks when someone tells you to your face that you are immature. But you’ll have to change your views sooner or later. Not growing up only ever worked in Neverland. And I promise you, if you grow up, you’ll have so much more fun that you’ll wonder why you ever hung on to your childhood.

Then again, I can’t tell you to grow up just like that, can I?

 

“Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet with my long-lost son, Luke, who my wife and I gave up for adoption 17 years ago. While sitting and waiting, a teenage boy walked up to me with a light-saber and shouted "Father, I am your Luke!". How could I have ever given this boy up? MLIA.”

Coolest MLIA I ever saw. (:

ONLY RM4K.
Sunday, January 24, 2010

The following post was written on Friday night, 21.1.2010

By now I have calmed down. Earlier today, something happened to make me angry and indignant. I think that if I had been handed a laptop and wi-fi service right there and then, I would have blogged something I regretted. Thankfully, I’m not angry anymore. I don’t even feel hurt. And yet the issue at hand has not yet lost its significance for me.

As early as March last year, the School Achiever’s Scholarship Award application form was already pinned to my whiteboard. The SASA is a scholarship that is awarded based on a student’s achievements in extra-curricular activities (ECA). Academic results do not matter as much. As such, it makes the SASA a relatively easy scholarship to obtain. I sent in my application in July, and in August I was called to an interview at HELP College. In September/October, I was informed that I got the scholarship.

One of the senior SASA recipients told me, “It’s not about whether or not you get the SASA. It’s how much you get out of it.” 

I’m not sure about Foundation in Arts, but for A-Levels students, the amounts of money you can obtain from the SASA are as follows – RM4K, RM8K, RM12K or RM18K (which is the full scholarship). It turns out that my senior was right, for out of the 30+ applicants from Catholic High School, many received it, although the amounts varied. I was among those who received an RM4K scholarship. Quite a number of people who received the SASA turned it down. I accepted it, and I am now doing my A-Levels at HELP University College.

One question I am often asked, when people find out that I am a SASA scholar, is the inevitable “How much did you get?”

And more often than not, if the answer is not something along the lines of “Aww, only RM4K?” it is an awkward, “Ohh…” and/or a sympathetic nod, which somehow infuriates and perplexes me at the same time.

The nature of the SASA is such that people tend to judge you based on how much you have gotten out of it. It is as if the amount you have been awarded signifies the value of your presence in any room. If you have a full scholarship, or at any rate a larger amount than anyone else, people sit up and pay attention to you straight away. This is also a kind of prejudice and a way of establishing a pecking order among your peers. Only unlike the kind of prejudice brought on by appearance - whether or not you have pretty hair, pretty bags, cool shirts, nice shoes – the kind of prejudice brought on by the SASA is much harder to deal with because the amount of money you are given is awarded based on your interview and your high school co-curricular achievements… Which does somewhat reflect what kind of personality you have, but only to a certain extent.

However, being trapped in a highly kiasu society where appearances and achievements mean the world, we can’t help but judge people based on how much they got. She got RM8K, he got RM12K. That means he has been more active in ECA than she has been, therefore he must have stronger leadership skills and therefore more outgoing, more capable, everything.

Oh and she got only RM4K. Oh well it’s still a scholarship, is it not.

I feel sick, disgusted and disappointed with the way we have started to think.

I would like to ask: why do you say only RM4K?

Does only receiving the smallest amount of money possible from the SASA reduce my worth as your peer?

Does receiving RM4K make me less than worthy of mingling with the ones who got RM18K?

Does receiving RM4K mean that my leadership skills are somewhat stunted? Maybe it means I have questionable intellectual ability? Maybe I’m too stupid to be around the ones who got more than I do?

From the way everyone reacts to “I got RM4K”, it is only too clear that this the way the majority of the people around me think.

A scholarship is a sum of money or other aid granted to a student, because of merit, need, etc., to pursue his or her studies.

Now, bizarrely, what was meant to be a means of helping a financially-burdened student has become a symbol of status and a means of climbing up the social ladder.

“I really want to know why I got less than you. I think I deserve more.”

The board that awarded the SASA-rians the scholarship is not infallible. There was a sort of system formed, based on your achievements (the thickness of your application form) and how much you managed to charm them in your interview. But I believe that one interview is simply not enough for the awarding body to fully gauge your true personality. It is known that people change during and for their interviews; The best remain as they are, but some shine brighter than they usually do, and some shrink into themselves. 

I am not doubting the awarding body’s judgement. I was somewhat of a homebody during my first few years of high school, resulting in a rather weak co-curriculum sheet. I am aware that I did not shine as brightly as the other applicants did. Personally I consider myself slightly shy; I take time to open up to other people and become comfortable around them. It was therefore nigh impossible that the lecturers could get to know me well in that one ten-minute session I had with them.

And yet that ten-minute session is the determining factor of how much you will be getting out of the SASA. In ten minutes, the interviewers are supposed to find out if you are outgoing, a homebody, a leader, a follower, a potential Oxbridge or Ivy League-er; but they do not go in depth into how you treat people, how you approach new ideas, how you deal with conflict and embarrassment, how you handle an awkward situation or how broad your horizons are. That would take a one hundred and twenty minutes. Situation questions involving the people skills mentioned are presented, but the applicants are aware that the answers to these questions can be memorized; and what they say may not always pertain to what they do in the real world. The interviewers are not so interested in your people skills as they are in your leadership skills. They are looking in you for qualities that make you a leader, not qualities that make you a good human being.

Therefore, neither should any of you form preconceived ideas of my personality just because I got a fraction of what everyone else got, because our scholarships were awarded on how well we performed on the surface. You also have to consider that the interview was months ago, before the SPM. It’s only 3 or 4 months ago, but you will be surprised how much someone with the right orientation and motivation can change in such a supposedly short space of time.

However, where one person might be willing to see the good in every person and give unlimited second chances, others are rigid and unmoving as the rocks in the Grand Canyon.

This is what I heard someone say today:

“I can’t believe someone as shallow as you got RM12K!”

Do you see the irony in the statement above? In one breath s/he managed to accuse someone of being shallow, and by deciding that they are shallow, they therefore do not deserve to have gotten a larger chunk out of the SASA Scholarship than you. S/he has in other words chosen to judge people based on how much money, may I repeat, MONEY, they got.

If that isn’t shallowness, I don’t know what is.

And for your information, just because someone follows stars and celebrities does not that make that person shallow. Neither does having read a lot of best-selling books, being a debater, and going around putting people on the spot because of their religious beliefs make you an intelligent person with superior intellect. And it most certainly does not give you any kind of right to believe that your superior intellect makes you also superior, in every other sense, to the people around you.

And yet that was what s/he did. S/he judged someone else based on one thing the other person had said, and s/he did not believe that the other person could have gotten more out of the scholarship than him/herself. S/he gets upset whenever s/he find out that someone else got more out of the SASA than s/he did. S/he also knows that I got RM4K only.

Well, thank you; now I know what you really think of me.

Getting only RM4K did affect me at first, because everyone else got at least double what I did. I know plenty of people who got the same amount as I did, but as far as I know, I am the only one who accepted it. I went through a period of emotional insecurity. I felt upset all the time and wondered if there was anything seriously wrong with me, wondered if I really was not as good as everyone else. I shrank into myself whenever I was around the other SASA scholars. My self-esteem took a huge dive. I truly believed that I was not worth as much as the other SASA-rians. And I even took to saying, whenever people asked, “Er. I got RM4K only.” just to save people the trouble of saying the word only. To which they’d reply, “Oh no RM4K’s fine what. It’s still money whaat.” Which, of course, did nothing at all to make me feel better.

Then I realized that I was being ridiculous. RM4K is not a price that has been put on my personality. RM4K is a tiny pat on the back for what co-curricular achievements I have. That’s all it reflects: how well I did in terms of ECA. RM4K does not reflect my (warning: bragging here) passion for language and literature, optimism, altruistic nature and love for my friends and family; which I believe is what truly makes me awesome. Getting RM4K does not in any way diminish my awesome-ness, unless I choose to let myself think so. RM4K is just that – a sum of money that SASA awarding body gave me. And the same goes for RM8K, RM12K and RM18K.

And then last week I had an epiphany. When I collected my invoice from the Registry, my eyes popped. I had never expected the A-Levels course to amount to so much. It was slightly higher than I had anticipated. But RM4K less had made quite a difference when compared to those who did not apply for any kind of scholarship.

That’s when I remembered what getting a scholarship – ANY kind of scholarship - was really about: alleviating my parent’s burden. I’d gotten the concept of a scholarship all wrong. It was all me-centered; I kept thinking about what it meant to me, when really the whole thing centered around someone else; someone who is forking out the money for your fees.

The scholarship should not be centered around me, but around my parents; because they are the ones paying for all my tuition fees. It’s no small amount of money. Every day here, there’s something new to pay; be it new goggles, textbooks, notes, lab fees, lab coats and other A-Level paraphernalia. I have two younger siblings still in school. I got RM4K to help reduce the amount they have to fork out, which can be a small or huge amount, depending on how you look at it.

The awesome thing about my parents is that all along, they knew I had gotten much less than everyone else. And they were proud of me just the same. I remember that when I showed them the letter, they were really happy. They were all grins, and they sat down and gave me all the “you’re a big girl now!” talks. YAH I KNOW very embarrassing right. But that’s my parents for you. I tried to wave it off but they even pulled out a bottle of sparkling juice, which we only reserve for really special occasions such as exam results, promotions, prizes won, new year’s day etc.

Clearly, to my parents, it’s not only RM4K for them.

I don’t know when the SASA became a symbol of everything we have ever achieved, a defining factor, a panel for us to be judged upon. I don’t know when it became like a Gucci shoe or Chanel handbag or a Quiksilver shirt: an accessory which tells everyone about the kind of person you are. That completely distorts the meaning of a scholarship and gives it a touch of unhealthy materialism. That has to change.

And it already has, for me.

I know I was ECA- stunted at the time of the SASA interview. Therefore I got only RM4K. But here’s what I also got: I learnt that I had to involve myself in more ECA (a realization which I decided, and have already begun to act upon). I learned what having a scholarship really means and to whom it really matters. That was my key to getting out of my state of self-pity.

I know I sound really preacher-ish and goody-goody. (Well what’s wrong with that?!) So for argument’s sake, let’s say I forget the whole scholarship-is-to-help-parents thing and play along with the rest of you. Let’s say I still believe that the SASA determines how capable I am as a person. Well guess what; I still learn something. I quote my favorite line from my favorite poem, If by Rudyard Kipling:

If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

Applying the scholarship is me-centered situation: for us, a bigger scholarship is a “triumph”, and getting a smaller scholarship is a “disaster”.


But if I learn something from my so-called disaster, it’s hardly a disaster anymore. It becomes part of my learning process. A process by which I take whatever comes at me, be it a negative or a positive experience, and use it to better myself.


I learnt not to let anyone and anything – especially money in ANY form – define me. I learnt to define myself.


So yes, I got only RM4K.


And I. Am. PROUD. of it.


 


PS: An add-on by Ian Beh – “There’s so much more to life than scholarships.” (:

HERE’S A SONG FOR WHEN WE TALK…
Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hi everybody. I need to introduce you to this website called My Life Is Average. On this site, people submit random stories about something that happened to them. And they’re all pretty much hilarious. This website makes my day! Here are a few of my favorites. One of the submissions is mine. Guess which one it is. (:

Today, I decided to pick up a history book from my class and study before my quiz. When I opened it, confetti fell out. I see it as a reward for studying.

Today, I went through a drive through, and saw that there was Braille writing on the menu sign. Good to know that blind people drive these days.

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing what he wanted have done with his body when he died. His idea? Have himself cremated and put into an urn. Then for his children to receive their inheritance they had to launch his urn out of a cannon on a pirate ship and shoot it down before it fell into the ocean. And if they missed someone had to retrieve it and try again. He's a keeper. MLIA

Today, someone shouted, "Look, a distraction!" and pointed behind me. I looked. MLIA

Today, I popped out of my favorite teachers closet (which connects to another teacher's classroom) threw him a rubber sword, and shouted "ZACH, NARNIA NEEDS YOU!" he took the sword and ran into the closet, we then crossed into the next class. I don't think i have ever seen a Physics class more confused. MLIA

Today, my brother came back from army training. He was telling me random stories about what happened, and said that to keep a beat while marching, he and his squad-mates sang the Spongebob Squarepants theme. I'm glad to know these men are the face of America. MLIA

Today, my dad told me that when he was at boarding school, the school had an official competition in which the boys would get into teams and bash up old pianos with hammers. This trumps Hogwarts any day. MLIA

Today my friend was sitting in my room and was wearing a black sock and a white sock. All of a sudden she proclaimed "I have interracial socks on". MLIA

Today, I was listening to my iTunes on shuffle. It played the Batman theme song, then The Joker by the Steve Miller Band. My laptop then shut down. I think the battle that was to follow was too intense for it to handle. MLIA

Today I was on Domino's pizza website, and at the bottom it said: "Any Delivery Charge is not a tip paid to your driver. Please reward your driver for awesomeness." I might just buy more pizza from them. MLIA

Today, I read a headline that said "80 year old man stuck in toilet, rescued only after he started singing." I now have more faith in the elderly. MLIA

 

And my all-time favorite:

Today, my best friend and I were having a conversation on facebook speaking in Elizabethan language. After a long argument about how true her friendship was to me she responded with, "Shush woman shutteth thy lips and act as if thy were the dame hellen keller and speaketh from thy hips." Made my day. MLIA

AND HERE’S A SONG FOR WHEN I IMAGINE US TOGETHER.
Sunday, January 17, 2010

Tuned in to: We The Kings – Heaven Can Wait
Owl City – Vanilla Twilight

 

Triksaidekaphobia is the fear of feeling unproductive and having wasted time.

Okay no, triksaidekaphobia refers to the fear of the number 13. But fear of the feeling of unproductivity does exist. I know because I suffer from it!

It is my belief (and my new year resolution) that every day should be used to better myself in some way. One hour lost while dreaming over homework is inevitable. I’d say unavoidable, even. But more than an hour of wasted time and I break out in a sweat of anxiety and I become really restless. Then I go to bed feeling really awful about myself.

Today I ended up with one whole free day. I had nothing to do, having finished all my homework last night. I got up at ten and was done practicing piano by noon. I was free till 7pm with NOTHING on my hands at all, and I didn’t really want to spend all that time in front of the computer again. Not even to research universities. I didn’t want to have to deal with insomnia that night either.

So I sent out an appeal via facebook, twitter and text message:

“Hi guys. I’ve finished all my to-dos for the week. I have nothing to do for the next 5.5 hours. I do not want to spend it in front of the com, instead preferably in some alien place like my kitchen, outdoors, or pluto. I’m appealing to your sense of adventure and spontaneity. SUGGESTIONS?”

Nick: Take a nap.

Sheng Hoay: To me… Most productive would be to sleep. Or why don’t you try making chocolate mousse?

Shen Wen: Well.. Go bake something. Or wash the toilet! Washing the toilet is pretty fun. :D

Hock Eu: Scream and ride downhill on your bike again. Play frisbee. Compose some music. Cook. And tell me if or when you try and fail. Watch ben ten on cartoon network. Teach an old dog new tricks. Go to church, just because. Sleep. Google something random and research it. Go and laugh at nothing until someone asks you why. Do something dumb until someone asks you why, then give an evil grin and continue doing it, just to bother the person. Or you could also go back to the option in front and watch ben ten.

(yes, this was in ONE text message.)

Conclusion: My friends like to sleep; Shen Wen has potential as a professional toilet cleaner; and Hock Eu is… well. You tell me.

(I’m kidding, Shen Wen!!!!)

There wasn’t really enough time to bake, and I wasn’t sure I had all the ingredients anyway. But I came up with my own plan, based on some of their suggestions, and I DID manage to use my time well this afternoon! Here’s what I did with my 5.5 hours.

  • Redecorated my room. Pasted pictures and photos on the wall. Planning on getting wall stickers.
  • Threw out old clothes from my closet.
  • Made a bannoffie smoothie for the family!

Bannoffie Smoothie Recipe

Recipe from here.

(serves 3-4)

Ingredients

2 large bananas (chopped)
4 generous scoops of vanilla ice-cream
1 medium sized cup of milk
1 digestive biscuit
whipped cream

Method

Chop the bananas and add to the blender, next add the ice cream and milk. Blend for approx 20 seconds, then add the digestive biscuit and blend again for approx 20 seconds. Pour into glasses and serve with whipped cream on top. Very tasty indeed!

  • Painted my nails yellow.
  • Spontaneously hopped down to the CHS field for my first ever frisbee game. I have gotten better at catching, as well as a lot of bruises to prove it.

(Well, okay. Only ONE bruise. But I want to sound heroic (: and just because it never raised a bruise doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt!)

  • Jogged round the field after I got kicked out of the game for being too noob. Did 7 rounds. Felt awesome. Got my newly-painted nails dirty.
  • Went home and painted my nails again.
  • Made a salad for dinner.
  • And while I was doing all of that, I was also debating with a friend on the issues of abortion and euthanasia.

So I haven’t really gotten into the mood of volunteering and teaching yet, which is what I had in mind. But I WILL. And for now, I certainly do think that time this afternoon was well spent. *grins*

HERE’S A SONG FOR THE NIGHTS I THINK TOO MUCH,
Friday, January 15, 2010

yesh_iamblessed 

Lots has happened, but weirdly, I don’t feel like talking about it. I don’t feel like talking about things that shouldn’t mean much to other people.

I can’t believe it. I never thought I’d say it. I thought it never would happen to me! It hasn’t ever, since I started in 2007! But here it is:

I’M LOSING MY BLOGGING MOJO. D:

Do me a favour and follow me on twitter, though. *grins*

 

***edit 26/1/10***

Blogging mojo is back, never to be gone again. I think I feel more relieved than my readers.

Upstairs, downstairs, whither shall I wander?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010

This is for the SASA-rians who attended the Dining Etiquette seminar on December 15. (:

 

cutlery

YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE. :D
Tuesday, January 12, 2010

tumblr_kugolmFd101qzpe8uo1_500

The past few days have been nothing short of fun, but as the seniors keep reminding me, the workload will become very heavy very fast. Thank you. Please do keep reminding me. I am not being sarcastic. I do not want to slip into a state of complacency.

Miss Caroline’s lecture today was hard and tough for us to swallow, but I was kind of expecting it. She gave me a lot of food for thought (and, consequently, indigestion) but I’m grateful for it. She’s not afraid to address the kind of things we’re afraid to address, especially about ourselves. She’s the kind of person who takes no excuses and nonsense of any sort. She spares no feelings. If you have a flaw or a weak point in your statement/argument, she’ll see it. And she won’t attack it. 

She’ll tear it apart, decimate it, and macerate it until your self-esteem’s in tatters!

This sounds like a death wish, but I WILL be sticking with English Lit for my A-Levels. Because I stand to gain so much more than an a love for literature and a passion for poetry. What do I get from Bio? A knowledge of the human anatomy that I can easily get from my parents and an A to show it. Do I think I can handle English Lit/Miss Caroline? Yes. I’ll probably die along the way. Not just once or twice, many times.

But like I said; if I manage to go through with this subject and come out the other end alive, I’ll have gained a lot more than just an A-level grade. Heck, even if I die along the way I’ll have gained something!

Maybe I know what I’m getting myself into; maybe I don’t. Maybe I’m signing my soul away for good. I feel like I’m signing a contract in blood. In any case, English Lit, here I come.

SHUT YOUR EYES;
Sunday, January 10, 2010

Here we have two children and only one piece of candy for the both of them. Child A immediately lays claim to the entire piece of candy, since he saw it first, so it belongs to him and him alone. Child B states that the candy’s enough for the both of them, so why can’t they just divide and share? But Child A is adamant – it’s all or nothing else. Child B refuses to be bullied into submission. Child A proceeds to throw a violent temper tantrum.

Admittedly, this is far from being a good analogy, because the smart thing for Child B to do would have been to hand over the whole piece of candy to the narrow-minded Child A and go find another piece of candy.

But what I’m really talking about isn’t all that simple.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8447450.stm

Don’t be angry with the Muslims, because the people behind these acts aren’t Muslims. They’re just narrow-minded, confused people who have a very shallow understanding of what they call their own faith, and little desire to understand anyone else’s. I really wonder what they hope to gain by claiming exclusive rights to the use of the word “Allah”. A bigger piece of candy, maybe.

As with all petty arguments, the best solution is to stay out of it. And, of course, vote wisely in the next election.

AND IT DON’T GET ME DOWN.
Thursday, January 7, 2010

stare

Being a college-ian is having a very strange effect on me.

I think it’s the fact that when I was in primary school, to my naive mind, college seemed impossible to get to, but now I’m actually here. I’m attending college. The supposedly impossible has already happened. It’s still slightly awkward. It’s not easy to feel like yourself when the company you keep is bursting with intelligence and/or talent. Everyone seems to be outstanding in some way, looks or otherwise, besides yourself. I’m not emo-ing! I know that with some time, I’m going to find a routine and slip into it, and then everything will be okay. It’ll all happen in its own time and way.

But I’m not here to talk about college. I’m here to talk about what being a college-ian made me do today.

The day was being boring. It all started with me opening up Windows Live Writer and finding out that I had nothing, for the second consecutive day, to blog about. So I shut the laptop and went outside, and instead of reading like I planned to (see my Twitter) I ended up doing something else. Something I can say I’m proud of doing.

(I’m kicking myself for not putting it on the list before so that I could cross it off and make it look like I’m making progress.)

Crazy as it seems, I did what I did for the sake of having something to talk to the world about.

But anyway, I took my bike out. And I rode it down the hill, screaming.

Don’t give me the look. It is something I’ve always wanted to do. If you’ve ever ridden a bike down a steep hill, you’ll know how exhilarating it feels. It always made me feel like screaming! Only there were always people around, and it always made me feel idiotic. I’d clamp my mouth shut and scream inwardly.

But joy is not something that should be suppressed. It should be EXPRESSED! It just felt wrong to keep the scream inside.

I told myself I’d do it today, just for the fun of it.

I got to the top of the hill and nearly chickened out. There was an Indian lady and two kids standing by the road, and further down, there was a Chinese lady walking with her 7-year-old daughter. Behind me, there was a couple taking a leisurely stroll. It was bad enough that I was going to be screaming pointlessly, there were also going to be witnesses to it. But then again, what’s the point of doing something cool (in my opinion anyway) if there’s no one to see it?

So I kicked off and rolled down the slope. I picked up speed, and then I yelled, as loud as I could,

WOOOOHOO!”

The Indian lady got a shock. I started laughing and waved at the two kids, then at the Chinese lady and her kid. I’m not completely sure what they thought of this batty 17-going-on-18 kid in her bright flowery shorts riding down the hill screaming like a mad person. But they waved back, and I supposed that says something. I was laughing then, and I laughed all the way home. I was still laughing when I told my sister about it.

She just gave me the look, and that made me sober up, but only a little.

I FELT SOOO GOOD :D

So I only rode down a hill screaming, but in that, I did A LOT of things. I did something I’d always wanted to do but never thought I’d do. I did something I was scared of doing, and I did it alone. I didn’t need anyone to “teman” me being stupid. I made my own day! It is now my opinion that everyone should try riding down a hill screaming out loud, once in their lifetime.

It’s okay to revert to being a kid once in a while. It’s okay to forget about having to maintain your image and think about all your goals and your future and everything you have or haven’t achieved. And while we’re on that, it’s okay to not be what our society defines as pretty, talented, smart and outstanding. It’s okay to feel mediocre. Life’s about what you do. Get out there and make it special.

Being a college-ian is having a great effect on me.

It makes me feel like I can do anything.

Decisions, decisions;
Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Hi everybody, I need your help.

My subjects for A-Levels are Maths, Physics, Chemistry and English Lit. I am not sure yet but I am thinking about venturing into Law after this. Whatever I choose, it will probably not be related to the sciences.

Right now I have a choice of dropping Physics and taking up Econs instead. Because Physics is not my strong point. I am the kind of person that likes all her subjects and will work hard at all of them. But I don’t have a natural talent for numbers and logic, which I struggle with, while I really enjoy subjects like English Lit.

I have no idea what Econs is like. And I have no idea how it will affect my career choices. I am going to sit in my friend’s Econs class this week to try and find out a bit more, but I would still appreciate if you could offer your two cents’ worth on this matter.

The deadline for changing subjects is January 15th, next Friday.

Comment in the cbox, pleaseandthankyou!

 

openheart_karishma

I’M COVERED IN RAIN, BUT IT FEELS JUST LIKE IT’S THE SUN!

yellow!_iamblessed

You know that college is going to be fun when, on your very first day, a girl who dyed her hair THIS COLOUR tells you she respects you. Even if she’s only kidding.

May, if you’re reading this somehow, WOOT! :D

50 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE UNIVERSITY.
Sunday, January 3, 2010

Why did you come up with this list?

Because I feel that the national education system is nowhere near good enough to make us the all-rounded people we want/the world wants us to be, therefore I need to make my own learning system. Because I was a real homebody who never really liked going out and experiencing new things, and I missed out on a lot, and I really want to catch up. Because I believe that we can only do as much as we think we can. Because some things are too fun not to be repeated or at least tried once. Because youth is hot and bold, age is weak and cold! Because I need to keep track of all my cool ideas. Because there is no better time than the present. Because everyone makes these kinds of lists but I’m going to actually try and finish it, and by posting it up on my blog it’s actually going to force me to finish it.

Why before university?

Because there are some things that are only fun when done while I’m young! But it’s okay if I don’t get to do all of the things on the list; completing 50% of the things on it will make me happy. The rest can be done in my own time.

AZN7wsuV4ptysnseSh9W7ALqo1_500

 

Note:

  • The list only counts after high school. The items done before high school (now to be repeated, hopefully) are in light blue.
  • The items listed are in in no particular order.
  • The list may be edited, added to or revised from time to time.
  • Completed items shall be crossed off like this, and the circumstances of its completion in pink next to it.
  • Some of the things on the list are serious, and some are just for fun, for the experience of it.
  • Just so you know, there are some things that I want to do that are not on this list. For example, stand up for someone or something I believe in. But those are too meaningful. I don’t think they should go on the list because then it’ll seem like I did stood up for what I believed in just to get it off the list.
  • You can drop me a note in the chatbox if you have any suggestions. (:
  • And I would much appreciate it if you could help me finish the list!
  • In no way at all is sex going to make the list. Period.

50 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE UNIVERSITY

1. Go rock climbing.

2. Go rafting/kayaking/canoeing.

3. Go scuba diving. Pulau Perhentian

4. Find a job a really like.

5. Stick with a job I really hate.

6. Get my driving license…

7. … and then go on a spontaneous road trip.

8. Cook a 3-course meal without poisoning anybody.

9. Take part in an official debate. National Novice 2010

10. Overcome ridiculous fear of public speaking.

11. Go to a rock concert.

12. Attend an orchestral performance.

13. Visit 3 new countries, not Thailand or Singapore!

14. Go carolling/sing in a choir.

15. Take up a new sport.

16. Finish Piano Diploma ACTL, with Distinction if possible.

17. Run a long-distance event. Win something.

18. Make up with all the people I ever fell out with.

19. Forgive everyone who ever hurt me badly.

20. Tell the ones I love that I love them. Not the easiest of things to do.

21. Earn a nice fat paycheck.

22. Start doing regular community service.

23. Fall in love.

24. Fall out of love.

25. Take part in the cast/production of a play/orchestra.

26. Plan and host a party. Christmas 2009 (: It counts lah!!!

27. Learn to dance.

28. Go karaoke.

29. Get a professional manicure/pedicure.

30. Have a work published.

31. Re-learn how to play chess.

32. Ride a motorbike. (Rethinking this after the class trip 2009. *coughCHANKAHMINGcough*)

33. Make a list of classics to read. Finish the list!

34. Become a serious environmental advocate.

35. Score the highest in class for something other than English!!! (This is something I really, really want to do.)

36. Get into the habit of doing regular Random Acts Of Kindness.

37. Get more involved in church.

38. Win a scholarship. SASA 2010. This counts too!!!

39. Attend WYD 2011, Madrid.

40. Enrol in an adventure camp like OBS.

41. Try cutting my hair short or at least changing my hair style.

42. Learn to administer First-Aid.

43. Learn to play the guitar + one other musical instrument. (drums?)

44. Eat a chicken drumstick WITHOUT USING MY FINGERS.

45. Finish reading a book on philosophy. Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder.

46. Make one Christmas really enjoyable.

47. Bake all of the following: cookies, cakes, jam tarts.

48. Learn to flip a pancake without it landing on the floor.

49. Go rollerblading.

50. Learn to play poker & chor dai di     (:

51. Completely redecorate my room.

(Okay, so there are more than 50 things. But who said I had to limit my life experiences?)

52. Learn to edit videos.

53. Overcome horrible sense of direction.

54. Become good at math. Not necessarily a genius, but I have to be good at it.

55. Go Zorbing!

56. Learn to do a cartwheel. Do it in public.

57. Try dyeing my hair.

58. Prank someone/get pranked on national radio.

59. Assemble a piece of furniture from scratch.

60. Give Skytrek a shot!

61. Stick notes in public restrooms.

62. Bag an internship.

63. Do volunteer work in rural Sabah/Sarawak.

64. Do volunteer work in a third-world country.

65. Donate blood.

66. Get a DSLR and start taking photos like a pro. :)

I’M OUT THE DOOR, I’M GONNA HIT THIS CITY!
Saturday, January 2, 2010

Orientation at HELP College was nowhere near as scary as I thought it would be. But then, nothing really ever goes the way you expect. (;

Here’s a Louise-byte: Lately I’ve been going around saying “ja” instead of “yeah”. And I don’t pronounce it “ya” either. I actually pronounce it as “zha”. I’m not entirely sure why I started doing this. All I know is that it’s addictive. And I sound like a retarded German.

I got pretty scared before the Orientation; I worried about fitting in, and what the new batch of schoolmates were going to be like. It’s only human. College is going to be the opposite of everything high school was – safe, structured, and mostly predictable. Everyone says things about hating routine and embracing everything wild and unpredictable. But let me tell you, it’s easier said than done.

After Orientation I got scared again, but this time because I felt overwhelmed. There’s going to be so much to do, see and most of all study. I have not decided on my subject combinations. I’m mostly certain that I’ll be taking Maths, Physics and Chemistry. As for the 4th subject, I put it down as English Lit. But I have equal amounts of people advising me against it and giving me the thumbs up. I have two weeks to figure out if I should keep that or drop it for Econs.

And I have to get at least one more pair of jeans because I only have the one pair that hasn’t been washed since early December. And I have dragged it around with me on the class trip, Penang etc. Today I just found out that for lab sessions, I not only have to wear a lab coat, I also have to tie up my hair, wear covered shoes and wear long trousers. Then when I went to sign up for my driving lessons, I found out that I have to wear long trousers to that as well.

It looks like my jeans aren’t going to be washed till Chinese New Year!

And it looks like with the hectic class schedule and all the LAN subjects PLUS piano and volunteer work, most of my supposedly free-and-easy first semester is going to go down the drain.

WAHHH D:

But after talking to a certain friend, I’m feeling better. More than that, I’m feeling hopeful. He said that I should actually be feeling excited. And that reminded me that I was spending too much time worrying about things that really, I had no control over, and that I’d forgotten to enjoy the moment. You know who you are, and thank you. (:

I am NOT going to worry about my subjects, because I know I will make the right choices; and I am NOT going to stress out over impressions I leave on other people. But I AM going to give my 110% in all my subjects and for my piano exam as well. I WILL try new things and experiences. I WILL surprise myself, and I promise to make myself proud, many times over!

I promise that in the years to come, I will not look back on the 1.5 years in college with regret. I promise to soak up all the new experiences and feelings and emotions that are the part and parcel of youth.

Somebody please turn me into a giant sponge!

2010_karishma

Ja. :D

…AND A NEW ONE JUST BEGUN.
Friday, January 1, 2010

 gaimanquote_iamblessed

Yes, I really do want to surprise myself. It would be the best thing, ever.

Read the old blog!

HAPPAY NUYAH

EVERYONE. :D